Escape

This post was actually written while I was on a plane headed...HOME :-)

There's something about home. Something about having a place you can go that instantly calms you. My home isn't the place I live, it's the place I grew up. As soon as the plane took off, a calm feeling washed over me. It wasn't just the fact that I was going to see my friends or family, or that it was Carnival time, it was about going to the place that was most familiar to me...and escaping my life in NY for a bit.

Recently I've had my worst fears come to exist as a part of my reality. It's funny because you can only imagine what it would feel like, look like, what you would say and do, but you're never fully prepared for when its there staring you in the face. You begin to realise that nothing you do can change what has happened, and you live through it. Life hands us many unpleasant things, but at the end of the day you live through it. You become aware of the lack of control over your circumstances, but you also become aware of what you can control. My physcology professor said once that there's only two reasons we do anything in life, to avoid pain, or to experience pleasure. We gravitate to the things that have the potential to cause the least pain and bring us the most happiness. Conflict arises when that which initially brought us happiness begins to bring us pain. The question is, how do we escape it? Do you find a place of solitude to help you forget? That's been my answer, but in ten days I will return to my life and all the chaos will be restored. I suppose we escape the pain by convincing ourselves that everything happens for a reason. That there's something bigger in store, that it's all a part of the grand design. It appears we have the power to brainwash ourselves in order to escape our pain...