Can Relationships Be Pruned?
Recently I was given a plant called Heliotrope to take care of. It's a lovely plant however I've never had the best track record with taking care of plants. I suppose it's because unlike a dog that barks relentlessly when hungry or a baby that cries mercilessly until food is delivered, plants are quiet. The genius that I am, I decided to leave the plant by the kitchen sink so I'd remember to water it. Of course, my kitchen doesn't have a window, so it wasn’t long before I came home to see my plant drooped over due to lack of sunlight. I had to resort to pruning. For those of you that don't know, pruning is cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, to increase fruitfulness and growth. After pruning and a couple days of consistent water and sunlight, I was amazed to see that my plant was restored and looking rather healthy.
As I sat watching TV that night, I started to think about relationships and whether or not they can be pruned. Is it possible to cut out all the unhealthy parts of a relationship, and bring it back to a healthy place? Is it possible to restore trust after it's been broken? I guess it would depend on the situation. If two people have a healthy relationship that somehow begins to go on a downward spiral, with both parties trying hard to work at it, I think it’s possible to restore it.
What happens when it starts out bad though? I once heard a quote “what starts out bad usually ends badly.” I agree with this to an extent. If a relationship has been bad from the beginning, and remained that way consistently, what hope is there that you can cut out all the bad parts and turn it into something beautiful? All you have is a relationship built on sand that will quickly be destroyed once stormy weather hits. Without the proper foundation, how can those two people ever have a healthy relationship?
Even with a firm foundation, some relationships aren't able to weather the storm. It has been my personal experience that broken trust can never be fully restored. I’ve seen several couples who stay together after trust was broken, but the issue comes up constantly and it's a tough battle. Many times the aggravation caused by these repeated arguments lead to a break up anyway.
Maybe I’m just cynical, but I don’t think relationships are as simple as plants, you can’t prune them. They do need to be nurtured and taken care of, but broken trust is like being bitten by a Malayan snake. Its bite is fatal even with the use of antivenin treatment. The venom travels quickly poisoning the relationship and leading to it’s eventual death. I guess that’s why they say, prevention is better than cure.
